Manchester City sign off the calendar year with a Premier League match against a struggling Sheffield United side on Saturday afternoon.
Pep Guardiola takes great pride in the hunger still coursing through his team after winning five trophies in 2023. When feverishly relaying the dialogue that took place on City’s flight back from Saudi Arabia as world champions, Guardiola gushed: “They didn’t know I was listening and they started to talk about Everton. I said: ‘Wow, this is my team.'”
Those who want to find a way into the lineup this weekend may be best advised to start loudly analysing Sheffield United’s strengths and weaknesses while Guardiola is in earshot.
Here’s the XI that may get the nod on Saturday.
GK: Ederson – It’s taken Ederson just 234 appearances to rack up 175 wins in the Premier League.
RB: Kyle Walker – The most recent Premier League goal Walker has scored was against his boyhood club Sheffield United on Halloween 2020. “My mum and dad live here,” the Blades fan explained after a muted reaction to his winner, “so if I’d celebrated I’d have got a lot of stick.”
CB: Manuel Akanji – “Prove them wrong” is indelibly scrawled across Akanji’s body in response to some early criticism in his career. He hasn’t had much need for the tattoo since joining City.
CB: Nathan Ake – Stepping into the middle of the backline after yet another John Stones injury, the worrying diagnosis delivered by Guardiola suggests that Ake may not be competing with Stones again in the near future.
LB: Josko Gvardiol – “This win is for the future,” Gvardiol declared after Croatia qualified for the 2022 World Cup. “Actually, I have no idea what I’m talking about right now,” he concluded. Luckily, Gvardiol was nowhere near a microphone after City’s Club World Cup success.
CM: Mateo Kovacic – “The Altar Boy”, as he is sporadically known given his involvement in the Catholic church as a child, could get the nod from City’s demi-deity in the dugout.
CM: Rodri – City’s theoretically defensive midfielder crushed a stunning winning goal past Sheffield United’s Wes Foderingham in August and explained his newfound adventure: “Ilkay [Gundogan] and Kevin [De Bruyne] played much higher than me so I needed to cover them but now with Mateo [Kovacic] I can go forward more.”
AM: Phil Foden – Guardiola took time to explain the tweaks to City’s intricate buildup system to combat Everton’s suffocating pressing scheme before stopping himself. “But in the end, it’s not about that because Phil Foden kicked the ball and put it in the net – the difference is that.”
RW: Bernardo Silva – After 85 error-strewn minutes, Bernardo wiped away any memory of a poor performance by picking out the top corner against Everton.
ST: Julian Alvarez – The Argentine is the only player on the planet to currently turn out for the reigning champions of the world at club and international level.
LW: Jack Grealish – During his penultimate season at Aston Villa, Grealish was fouled 167 times in the Premier League. Across two-and-a-half years at City, Grealish has won just 157 fouls.
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