Kelly Clarkson joins Zane Lowe in-studio on Apple Music 1 to discuss her new album ‘chemistry’, out tomorrow (23rd June). She tells Apple Music the album is a relationship album (not just a divorce album) and speaks depth about navigating her divorce, feeling isolated, finding freedom in moving on, setting a good example for her children, embracing therapy to feel better, how music has always been a necessity in her life, why Mariah Carey doesn’t get enough credit as a songwriter and more.
Kelly Clarkson Tells Apple Music Her New Album ‘chemistry’ is a Relationship Album (Not Just a Divorce Album)…
There was no thought process to this album for me, really… I mean thought process in the sense of I’m going through something and trying to figure out where I’m at and what I’m feeling and what I’m going to do… It’s really just, yeah, I didn’t really think about it. I do like the idea of taking a quirky pop, happy sound melodically, and the sound of the production, and then putting a dark lyric with it. It’s a dumpster fire. Join in, join in. It was also very thought out and very much on purpose to have the album not just be a divorce or breakup album. It was more of a relationship album… Chemistry. There’s stuff on there that’s … With Magic, it’s like, okay, it’s hard, relationships are hard. This is worth it. I’m willing to get beat up for this. I’m willing. If you can do it, and I’ll do it, if we do this together, I can do it. But it was important to me because I think it’s a waste when somebody says … They jump in and they wash it all off. It’s like, I don’t want to wash it all off. My whole thing is like, yes, there’s parts that I’m like, you let go of, dreams or hope or things like that, but there is a very big part of that relationship that was I never thought I’d experience love like that. I never thought I would ever have that. People are fortunate to have that, to at least experience it. It didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean it was all bad. It just means it didn’t end well.
Kelly Clarkson on Navigating Her Separation and Leaning on Unhealthy Habits…
I don’t know how people get through anything like that because I’m not going to say I did it gracefully. Behind closed doors by myself, it was not… Just to be brutally honest, I did not handle it well. I had many sessions with just my friends of… I couldn’t even speak. I was crying so hard…even before separating. There were just a lot of now unhealthy habits you recognise or habits that you recognise that you didn’t see before. Hindsight is a lot easier.
Kelly Clarkson on Feeling Isolated While Going Though Divorce…
…that’s the worst part when you’re going through something. No matter what I said to my friends, no one got… It being so public, misinformation, what things that were right, and then people talk to you about, and you want to scream at the top of your lungs. And it’s just, no one knows that, and I don’t know theirs. Whatever theirs is, you can’t experience full on what someone else is experiencing. And it’s very isolating.
Kelly Clarkson Tells Apple Music About Finding Freedom in Moving On and Setting an Example For Her Children…
I think when you finally go, “I can’t fix this. I can’t,” there’s no amount of hope that will, or trying or whatever. It actually is freeing. It’s incredibly sad. It’s a dark place, and fetal position on the floor crying. There’s so much loss with that and I’d never experienced grief like that, but I also think it’s very freeing to go, “Hey, I can’t … Like, we’re both … We got to let each other go. This is not working. This is not going to pan out for … And it’s not working for either one of us.” Then we have two little kids watching us. And you don’t want to set that example for, this is what they’re going to set the bar for. I’m like, I don’t want my kids to be in this relationship. I want them to aim higher.
Kelly Clarkson on When She Starting To Feel Better Following Her Divorce and Embracing Therapy To Navigate a Tough Period…
Zane Lowe: When did you start to feel better?
Kelly Clarkson: You know what? I don’t know that there’s one moment. I think it’s gradual. And that’s what people tell you, too. I mean, it’s interesting, because this album starts off with a song called “Skip This Part”. And I literally say, “Can I skip this part?”…I literally said to my therapist, and it wasn’t even, honestly, we weren’t even divorced. We weren’t separated then. It was like, when we first started talking, it was marriage counseling. It was trying to make it work. “We’re trying to figure it out. I desperately want to make this happen,” but I think I knew in my heart it just wasn’t going to. So, I think it just happens over time. And people tell you that. They’re like, “Don’t worry. The end is there,” and you’re like, “Shut up.” At the time, you’re just like, “I don’t want to hear that. I don’t want to hear the light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t want to hear all the bumper stickers you’re about to feed me.” It’s just s****y, and that’s where I’m at, and I don’t want to go through it. But I think honestly, people, you can call it hippy-dippy, LA, whatever you want to call it, because I’m from the South and people don’t generally go to therapy. They didn’t when I lived there. And so, you can call it whatever you want, but it’s very helpful to have a trained professional that knows how to navigate you through rough seas. And it’s a rollercoaster. That’s the album too. It goes up and down. It’s like, “I’m out.” And it’s like, “Wait, I’m in.” Because love makes you do really incredible things and incredibly stupid things. And so, I don’t think there was a moment. I think it just gradually happened to where, one day, I think one thing that did help me is she was like, “You don’t have to attend every argument that you’re invited to.” And that really stuck with me.
Kelly Clarkson on The Biggest Lesson She Learned Making ‘chemistry’…
I think what I’ve learned mostly out of all of this in writing this record and all of the emotions that it comes with, with grief and loss is, it’s one of those things too, I read something, not everyone is deserving of your story or worth it or worth your time. And it doesn’t mean that that person is bad and you’re good or you’re bad and they’re good. It’s just like that’s not what it is right now. They’re not ready to receive that or hear that or whatever. And if you don’t have a partnership where you’re both open to the other one’s perspective and thoughts and vantage point, it’s just never going to work.
Kelly Clarkson on being Asked in Almost Every Interview “Why do you think people look forward to the divorce album?”…
People keep saying too, “Oh, why do you think people look forward to the divorce album or whatever it’s called?” People ask. Almost every single interview I’ve done. But here’s the thing. Here’s why, is because tragedy and that depth of sadness is really relatable and people don’t talk about it enough. You listen to it with your headphones on to feel connected to something because you’re supposed to, because society says, “Let’s change it. Let’s be happy.” And then what is happy? Everybody can’t be happy all the time, but it’s yeah. People say that almost every interview.
Kelly Clarkson on Why Music Has Always Been a Necessity in Her Life…
Kelly Clarkson: … you can ask labels, they’re not a fan of me, because I’m always never about the money. Because they’re always like, they’ll shove money at you to, “Just record this.” I’m like, “I don’t want to record that. That’s not me.” And there are compromises along the way, whatever. But I think I’ve always been the person, music has always been a necessity for me. Even when I was a kid. Like I was saying, I had a hard time with confronting not only others, but even myself, if I’m being honest, with what I’m feeling and where I’m at, and it was very hard for me to describe or put into words, to have a conversation with someone. So, my mom shoved a journal in front of me and was like, “If you’re not going to talk to me or anybody else, write it down.” So, it started as poetry, and then it became lyrics. So, I think it’s always been a necessity for me.
Kelly Clarkson on Embracing Humor To Navigate Tough Waters…
It’s like I have to find humor. I have to have a little tinge of that. One, it’s helpful to escape… Even when you’re paying attention to something else, it’s nice for perspective and it is detrimental in the moment. And you feel like everything is, you’re going to mess up your children. You’re going to mess up your whole life. Everything is so huge. And now three years later, even from separation, it’s like, you know what? I was like, “Yes, it is important. And yes, it was what it was. But at the end of the day, we’re all fine. We’re doing fine. Everybody’s finding their own lane and we’re figuring it out and it’s going to be fine.”
Kelly Clarkson Tells Apple Music About Being a Fixer…
I’m a fixer, which is really annoying. I think everything is salvageable. I think everything can be … There’s no lost person. I think change exists. I think all these things. At the same time, you can’t … You can’t help someone if they’re not willing to climb up there with you. You can’t help someone. I love the lesson in that.
Kelly Clarkson Tells Apple Music Mariah Carey Doesn’t Get Enough Credit As a Songwriter…
People don’t give her enough credit. People give her credit as like a singer. I don’t think people give her credit as a writer. I don’t think people realize. She wrote all that s**t. No, financially she’s rocking it because of what she’s done. I think people think of her as a songbird and don’t…they don’t think of her as the writer that she is. Because we talk about Carol King, we talk about James Taylor. Those are all amazing people. Yes. But I’m just saying…
