“Lifeless, unfunny, and visually repulsive dud”.
Image credit: Lionsgate Films
Eli Roth’s Borderlands movie is nearly here, and early impressions are starting to trickle in – and, well, they’re not great. Critics have taken to social media to brand the live-action film adaptation of Gearbox’s looter-shooter everything from a “huge misfire” to a “disaster”.
The Borderlands movie has, of course, been in the works for some time now. It was initially announced back in 2015 before utterly vanishing in a puff of elongated silence. Then, just as it looked like the project was dead and buried, Gearbox re-announced it in February 2020, this time with Hostel director Eli Roth at the helm.
Since then, the high-profile likes of Cate Blanchett, Jamie Lee Curtis, Gina Gershiwn, Kevin Hart, and Jack Black have all (rather mystifyingly) signed onto the project, giving fans at least some hope it wouldn’t entirely suck. Unfortunately, its recent trailers haven’t inspired much additional confidence.
And now, following press screenings and the lifting of social media embargoes, critics are starting to have their say. “Borderlands is a disaster,” opined Bitesize Breakdown writer Adriano Caporusso. “Filled with every cliché you can ponder, this film swaps the mayhem and imagination of the games for a lifeless, unfunny, and visually repulsive dud with annoying characters and a cast with not one ounce of chemistry.”
Granted, “lifeless, unfunny…with annoying characters” sounds pretty much on-the-money for Gearbox’s series post-Borderlands 2, but probably not what you want in a movie. “It’s really bad,” wrote Awesome Friday critic Matthew Simpson on social media. “I really wanted to like it, but an uninspired plot + several phoned in performances + being stuck in a weird place where it looks both expensive and cheap at the same time make it a huge misfire.” He did, however, have good things to say about Jack Black’s performance, calling it “great”.
Darren Movie Reviews was similiarly positive about the rest of the movie’s cast, also calling its stars “great” – despite a “rushed and dull screenplay”, “underdeveloped” characters, and “flat” jokes. “Not bad,” they concluded, “but utterly forgettable.
It goes on, of course; Loud and Clear Reviews writer Edgar Ortega likened Borderlands to a movie “an out of touch executive thinks the ‘cool kids’ find appealing”. He slammed its “obnoxious quips that feel dated as soon as they leave the actors’ mouths”, before declaring it, “Not even so bad it’s good, just a complete mess.”
Freelance critic Sean Patrick Kelly did at least praise the movie’s “exceptional level of detail for those who have played the video games”, before adding, “I don’t know if that’s enough to stop people from accusing it of being a Guardians of the Galaxy rip-off.”
Full reviews from major publications will presumably start appearing over the next few days, but if you’re willing to take a chance on the whole thing regardless of critical opinion, the Borderlands movie arrives in cinemas this Friday, 9th August.
