The duo cap off their meteoric rise with their first Brit Award. A visibly nervous Rhian Teasdale says it’s “really cool to do this on an indie label” and adds: “Being on the telly can feel like such a boys’ club thing. I just want to thank all the women who worked on the production thing. It’s a team of women. I just really want to shout them out.”
As if to illustrate her exact point, see: this creepy presenter “banter”, as noted by Neil: “‘I love what you’re doing? Are those your real boobs?’ Tom Grennan asks Ellie Goulding. That silence that followed was what was left of his career going up in smoke.”
Simply perfect
Neil says: “Lewis Capaldi (or Sam Capaldi as the nervy host introduced him) keeps it deceptively simple, which works a treat. Nothing like a gospel choir to enliven a weepy acoustic ballad.”
Seconded. Performing his number one Forget Me, Capaldi held a big, rowdy room effortlessly.Harry Styles wins Best Pop/R&B Act
Salma Hayek brings the magic. Magic Mike, that is: the actress (semi-promoting her new film, the latest Magic Mike sequel) is accompanied by two very buff dancers. No complaints here.
She presents Harry Styles with (likely) the first of several gongs: he’s up for four Brits tonight. Amid yet more screaming, he thanks those who secured this fan-voted award for him. “It’s so good to be home,” he adds.
Neil concurs: “Harry Styles wins his first award of the night. Let’s face it, he’s gonna win everything he was nominated for. ‘Do your buttons up!’ says my wife as he stumbles on stage. It’s one of the things I really like about Harry: he taps into that old-school ‘Is he really going out dressed out like that?’ pop energy.Mo Gilligan is working the room
And Neil is loving it. “Forget the music acts, the primetime BRITS is all about random celebrity interactions. Stanley Tucci! One of Mick Jagger’s offspring! A West Ham footballer! The kid from Happy Valley!”
Cue the Morris Dancers
Is your muffin buttered? Wet Leg would like to know. Welcome to the eccentric world of the Isle of Wight sensations, who liven up a somewhat staid ceremony by adding Morris dancing, animal heads and a trippy festival vibe to their performance.
Neil disagrees. “Wet Leg looked distinctly uncomfortable in the over-the-top glam BRITS setting. I mean, it is really an example of how a big awards showbizzy ceremony like this is so at odds with rock and roll, it can pretty much ruin anything.”
Becky Hill wins Best Dance Act
“My imposter syndrome kicked right in when the nominees were announced!” admits a tearful Hill as she bags her second Brit Award.
Neil says: “Becky Hill looks astonished about winning the BRIT award for Dance, as well she should given she was up against global smash hit producers Fred Again, Calvin Harris and Bonobo. Honestly, whose big idea was it to let TikTok vote? “I’m making a pickle of it,” she says, during scattered speech. Maybe it’s a new dance move.
Beyoncé wins International Artist of the Year
Huh? Happy Valley’s dopey teen Ryan is presenting this award, bafflingly.
Anyway, the International Artist award goes, quite rightly to Beyoncé. Who isn’t here. Oh. She does send a video message, promising to see us on tour. (Incidentally, Eleanor Halls wrote a very funny piece about her attempt at nabbing Beyoncé tickets – well worth a read.)
Neil is miffed. “Beyoncé hasn’t deigned to grace the BRITS with her presence, again. I don’t know why we bother.”
Not mad about Harry
Our music critic Neil McCormick isn’t impressed. “Well, they rushed that intro from Harry Styles. He forgot to shave, forgot his shirt, forgot to sing half of his song, and forgot years of dance lessons with One Direction. But Harry is the British People’s Prince of Pop, and tonight will be his coronation.”
Aitch wins Best Hip Hop/Grime/Rap Act
The Manchester-born rapper bigs up his team, and gives a heartfelt speech about how anyone can succeed, no matter where they come. He also manages to maintain some street cred while wearing a powder-blue Prom tux, which is the real victory.
Neil McCormick says: “Cheeky young chappie Aitch beats Britain’s finest rappers (Stormzy, Dave, Loyle Carner) to the Hip Hop Grime BRIT. That’s what you get when you let the TikTokkers vote.”
Mo Gilligan makes a high-flying entrance
Never mind running for the bus: Gilligan grabbed a ride on Lizzo’s helicopter in a witty (and mercifully brief) intro, so he could make it in time for Harry Styles’s performance of Brit-nominated song As It Was. Cue sequin jacket, tattoos and much screaming.
You won’t see this year’s Rising Star
It’s a category which has boosted incredible artists early on in their careers – from Adele, Ellie Goulding and Jessie J to Rag’n’Bone Man, Sam Smith and Celeste. But this year’s winners, girl group Flo, have been dumped from the televised ceremony; instead, they’ll just get their trophy on the red carpet. It’s a peculiar way to treat up-and-coming British talent, and an unfortunate look in this year of male domination.
Where do you stand?
Who’s getting your backing tonight? And what do you think of the Brits’ switch to gender-neutral categories? Let us know in the comments below!
Gender-neutral controversy
Of course, the big talking point is the Brits’ controversial (well, disastrous really) introduction of gender-neutral awards in 2022 – urged on by Sam Smith, who identifies as non-binary. Perhaps predictably, that led to a dearth of female nominees this year, with an all-male line-up for Artist of the Year, and nearly all men (with Wet Leg the sole exception) in Album of the Year. Progress? Hardly. If women are largely shut out tonight, expect some serious soul-searching by the Brits organisers.
Host for the 2023 Brits
…is stand-up comedian Mo Gilligan. He has a Channel 4 chat show with rapper Big Narstie, and has done his time in the reality-TV trenches as a judge on The Masked Singer and The Masked Dancer. So, if Taylor Swift doesn’t come out in a giant Sea Slug costume, his mind will be blown.
Who’s performing tonight?
Harry Styles will be donning his glitteriest jumpsuit (and hoping to avoid a repeat of his Grammys disaster, when a malfunctioning rotating stage wrecked his choreography). Lizzo, Lewis Capaldi, Wet Leg, Stormzy, DJ David Guetta and Cat Burns are also performing live, as are Sam Smith and Kim Petras, who got tongues wagging with their aptly named Unholy at the Grammys.
Runners and riders
If you want to keep track of who’s won what throughout the night, we’ll also be updating our list of all the nominees and winners here.
Sam Smith takes a fashion risk
Daringly pushing the boundaries of conventional couture, or hideous fetish take on a balloon animal? You decide…
The rest of the world
As for the international categories, Beyoncé will be competing against a formidable crowd that includes Taylor Swift, Drake, Lizzo, Fontaines DC, OneRepublic, First Aid Kit, and k-pop sensation Blackpink. Plus, weirdly, the cast of Disney animated hit Encanto with We Don’t Talk About Bruno (and I apologise, just by mentioning it I’ve now lodged it in your brain for the next four hours). At attempt to clamber onto a now-ancient TikTok craze? Yes, kids, the Brits ARE cool!
Putting the Brit into Brits
Also in the running are homegrown talent such as George Ezra, Stormzy, Lewis Capaldi, Charli XCX, Sam Smith, Dua Lipa, The 1975, the Arctic Monkeys, Fred again…, Cat Burns, Flo, Eurovision hero Sam Ryder, and the marvellously named Isle of Wight-originating indie rockers Wet Leg (who picked up two Grammys last week).
So, who’s competing for silverware tonight?
Just a week after he controversially beat her to Best Album at the Grammys, Harry Styles and Beyoncé are back in action – but this time, they’re in separate categories, with Styles up for four gongs, including Artist of the Year and Album of the Year (for genial, Eighties party-style Harry’s House), while Queen Bey is nominated in the international categories.
Styles is already strutting his funky stuff on the red carpet, all while being throttled by a giant rose…
…to the 2023 Brit Awards! We’re going to be following all the action live as some of music’s biggest names compete for shiny prizes – and take to the stage at London’s O2 Arena to perform. Plus the Telegraph’s music critic Neil McCormick will be casting his eagle eye over proceedings.
