A to-do list keeps you task focused and blind to the present moment, but adding a “to-be” list … [+] brings balance to your perspective, enabling you to grow your career and live more fully.
If you’re like most people, you spin a lot of plates during your workday, skipping the present moment to get to the next item on your agenda. You hop in and out of the shower to get to work instead of being in the shower. You rush through your commute to the office instead of being present during the commute. You multitask to get everything done before calling it a day instead of being present with each task. What’s missing in this picture? A “to-be” list.
When your “always on” to-do list requires you to check off each item by the end of the workday, your brain becomes myopic. It over focuses on tasks as the “doing” thoughts circle in your head like a school of sharks, hijacking your nervous system, eclipsing the here-and-now bigger picture and making you feel out of your body or not grounded in some way.
This cycle can keep you stuck in the past or future, while the present moment—where life really happens—passes you by. The slightest inconvenience can trip your inner alarm system, causing you to lose your cool before you know it. Over time, “doing” has, in effect, kidnapped you, and you probably haven’t given much thought to making changes. You may have noticed the shrinkage of your contentment, well-being and happiness and not know what to do about it.
Advantages Of A ‘To-Be’ List
If you think a “to-be” list is a big fat waste of time or that it distracts you from reaching career goals, nothing could be farther from the truth. Creating a “to-be” list—watch a sunset, notice a squirrel nesting, soak in a hot bath or listen to soft music or birds tweeting—alongside your to-do list actually contributes to, instead of distracting from, your career trajectory and success. A to-do list and a “to-be” list are twins, not enemies.
Taking time out from the rat race, allows your ideas to incubate. Most creatives say innovative solutions to work problems emerge when they’re in the shower, moving furniture or just sitting in nature. A “to-be” list harnesses the social circuitry of your brain and resets and recharges your mind during the workday. It breaks the cycle of ruminating thoughts or obsessive worry. It snatches you out of your sympathetic nervous system (the fight-or-flight or stress response), activates your parasympathetic nervous system (the rest-and-digest or calming response) and anchors you in the present moment, enabling you to be more efficient and productive and calmly navigate workplace woes.
A to-be list flips the old adage when you say to yourself, “Don’t just do something, sit there,” keeping your attention on the stream of the process, instead of on completion of the task. You’re able to bring curious, nonjudgmental attention to yourself, your work and relationships. It helps you master packed schedules, difficult work relationships and new technologies (such as AI) instead of becoming slaves to them. It eases you through work stress, business failures, job loss or worry and anxiety about career goals.
Four Essentials To Put On Your ‘To-Be’ List
Noticing moment-to-moment body sensations, mental processes and feelings that arise grounds you and aids in focus and concentration. Four essential tools on your “to-be” list can reset your brain, bring you into the present moment and incubate creative ideas and solutions to work challenges.
- Open awareness with the 3-3-3 rule. Listen for one minute. Pay attention to three sounds you hear around you. With eyes closed, you might hear ambient noise such as a rumble of thunder, whoosh of traffic or giggling voices off in the distance or the immediate sound of a humming air conditioner or your own gurgling stomach. Next, observe for one minute. Name three objects you can see around you. Take the time to notice their shapes, colors and any other details as vividly as you can in your mind’s eye. Finally, touch for one minute. Notice three objects you can touch and take in how each one feels. You can brush your hand over the chair at your workstation, objects on top of your desk or the screen you work from. Notice if the texture of each object is smooth or rough, warm or cold or heavy or light.
- Workflow meditation—the curious observation of what’s happening inside and around you in the present moment during the course of your workday—allows you to be in the present moment and do your work at the same time. On the way from the parking deck into your office building, instead of rifling through your day’s agenda, intentionally walk with present-moment awareness. Simply bring your attention to the sensations of your feet against the ground, note the feeling of the open sky or focus on as many different sounds as you can—a dog bark in the distance, ambient traffic, a siren, an airplane, your own gurgling stomach or a heating or air conditioning unit. During your work routines, observe your thoughts, feelings and body sensations like you would a blemish on your hand—instead of fast-forwarding through them— to reset your brain and change your body chemistry, making you calmer on the inside and more productive on the outside.
- Microbreaks. Scientists have found that taking microbreaks—five or ten minutes—throughout the workday resets your brain and helps you unwind. After hours of sitting, short breaks are effective energy management strategies that can be as simple as stretching, walking up and down stairs, snacking, deep breathing, yoga or a five minute mindful meditation. And before heading into another appointment, take three or five minutes to walk around the block or stretch at your desk to reset your nervous system so you don’t take that stress with you into the next work situation. After long stretches of sitting in front of your screen, practice the 20-20-20 rule by looking 20 feet away from your computer for 20 seconds, every 20 minutes.
- Breathwork. One of the simplest tools to put on your “to-be” list is using your breath as a focal point to lasso your mind into the present moment. Breathing is something most of us take for granted because it’s automatic, and we’ve been doing it since the day we were born. Deep breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth and focusing on each inhalation and exhalation—following your breath through to a full cycle from the beginning when the lungs are full back down to when they’re empty—calms and clears your mind. Stuck in traffic or a drawn-out Zoom meeting, remain actively involved while taking a minute to practice box breathing. Breathwork stimulates the nervous and cardiovascular systems, enhancing both physical and mental health. You might notice that your heart and respiration rates are slower and your tight muscles loosen because you took yourself off the red alert of your doing mind and brought it into the present moment of your being mind.
A Final Word: Gas And Brakes
We need gas and brakes working together to be effective in our careers. But if you are tied to a to-do list with the gas full throttle (also known as the fight-or-flight response of your sympathetic nervous system), chances are you will be more stressed, more tired and sicker. But if you apply the brakes with a “to-be” list (also known as the rest-and-digest response of your parasympathetic nervous system) in coordination with the gas, you will be happier, healthier and more productive. Five minutes a day to still your busy mind and center into the quiet places inside set the compass of your heart so you’re drawn, instead of driven—even in times of upheaval.
